I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
