why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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