Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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