Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize