Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
