Kiss
Puke
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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