She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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