You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Someone came in the potted fern
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
