Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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