Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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