yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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