Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
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