Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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