it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize