Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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