NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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