remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
