I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
