Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
be right there i have to get my cape
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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