His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
