my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
