The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
