Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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