Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
