So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
