i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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