i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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