nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
