I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Randomize
