Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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