I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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