I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
