Please don't use social media to get back at me.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
