My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
