just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
