We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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