there was a trapeze. enough said
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
