Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
