Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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