He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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