Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
