She's JV to your varsity
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
