if i died would you start the facebook group?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Randomize
