What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
We talked him into tasing himself.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
