True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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