so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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