Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
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