I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
