WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
