Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
