laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
