I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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