he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
My pussy is not your playground.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
