i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
