Don't you send me to vm
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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