I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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