My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
