Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
