Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
