You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
