I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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