just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
