i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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