new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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