"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Randomize
