If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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