Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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