too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
