the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
