I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
