Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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