I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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