So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize