how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
