After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
