You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Randomize
