Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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