you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
