And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
