what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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