I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize