My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
